The engagement ring he got me isn’t “me” at all. Can I ask to change it?
I got engaged a few weeks ago, and I now greatly regret not giving any hints on what kind of rings I like… I have my very own style, and I like things to be “different” and noticeable, while still looking fashionable. My fiancé does also have a particular way of dressing, kind of like a male version of me. So I was confident he would get me something I liked as we have similar tastes and he knows me better than anyone.
I was so thrilled when he first proposed and for the first week that even though I was disappointed with the ring the second I saw it, I managed to ignore not liking it. But I feel that the longer I wear it the less I like it.
He got me an extremely simple solitaire diamond ring with a tiny .15 carat diamond. He told me that since I am a slender girl, he specifically looked for a thin and small ring for me. It’s very anonymous and not like my personality at all. It was not about the money, he has a very decent income. The problem is that even though I have a slim frame, my fingers are not particularly elegant, and this ring doesn’t suit me at all… On my other hand I have worn for the past 5 years, including our entire relationship, a gold ring that is at it’s thickest on the middle with a few zirconias. I think this ring suits my hand, and he knows how much I like wearing it, as I never take it off. Then he buys me the exact opposite - a very anonymous ring that is super thin at the middle, with a tiny diamond. I think it is very unflattering to my hand and makes my fingers look a bit fat. It is not about the money, I could easily find a ring that suits me better for the same price. But I don’t really want another ring, and I imagine that upgrading the stone size, not necessarily to a bigger diamond, would make this ring suit my hand and my style a lot better, and I would still get to keep the band he gave me - I just need something to bring the attention away from the very narrow center part.
I don’t know what do do… I know he made an effort when picking out the ring, honestly believing that a tiny ring would suit me. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, and if it was anything else than this, say a necklace or earrings I would have worn it occasionally and been happy with it because it was a gift from him. I actually do love my ring and what it stands for, but I have a hard time getting over how I really don’t like the way it looks on me. I am going to wear this ring every single day for the rest of my life, and it’s neither my shape or style.
Is there any way I can tell him in a nice way that I want to change the ring? Is this really bad? I know that he wants me to be happy with it first and foremost, but I am pretty sure he will be a bit hurt if I tell him I want to change it. His solution would probably be to get me a bigger diamond, no matter what I say, and I’m afraid he’ll get the feeling that that’s why I don’t like it =(
It would have been so much easier if the diamond was to big to suit me, so there would be no extra costs involved with changing it…
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If u love him u’d deal with it
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AusP_etY3X1vDctzqVouAonsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091125190109AAdXJwt
I would be personally hurt to be asked to get my love a different ring. When a guy goes to get a ring he does alot of searching trying to find the right one (unless your just a prick of a guy) that he thinks you will like/love. He put time into looking for that one ring. Besides, if you love him, you wont care about the ring. Its just another accessory that wont make life any better.
Normally you’d be involved in picking the wedding ring… and often jewelers can make those to frame the engagement ring so they become almost like one. Would that improve it? If so, then you get to make it look more like you want, AND keep what he chose for sentimental value.
Also, many women don’t wear the engagement ring after getting the marriage ring - some, do some don’t. You could then put it on a necklace, or do something else ’sentimental’ with it - mount it on something, display it, etc.
If you find you must change it, then all you can really do is explain. Tell him how much you love it and what it means, but that it just doesn’t work out on your hand, or is uncomfortable or doesn’t suit you as well on as it looked off. He will likely be disappointed, but for most it wouldn’t be crushing - you should know him well enough to know if it would be. For me, I’d be awfully particular, but I’d try to find a way to work the ring into a wearable something just because it does mean something.
Tell Him You Love your Diamonds But the ring fits funny the setting makes your finger feel weird ..
Then ask if He would be mad if he went with you to change the setting and keep the diamonds?
Good Luck If it was Me I would want you happy No Matter what.
Some Guys will get the Idea you are High Maintenance though
So,,,, Just be aware of that
I would give the ring back and call off the engagement as well. its not the ring its the committment.
you clearly do not think that way and i think that that is immature to the max. By walking you would do both you and he a favor by not getting engaged and married as i cant see anyone with your attitude staying married.
He obviously don’t know you too well if he can’t pick out a piece of jewelry you that you would like. Keep it, he picked it out for you. Just pick your own wedding band and a year after your married get an eternity ring but also you choose what you want this time!
What is much better? Marrying your soon-to-to-be husband or frowning over a ‘tiny’ ring? Seriously! Besides he will buy another ring which will be a wedding ring. If you must have some input on it, you and him can pick out your ‘perfect’ ring then. Since this is bothering you so much, you can always upgrade the thing later on down the road but the fact this man asks for your hand in marriage tops it all.
I wish I was still engaged and have the beautiful ring that I once had on my finger. Be happy with what you got.